great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
