it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
