we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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