i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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