thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
