White coat. Heels.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
