i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
