the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
