Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
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