Screwed.edu
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
