So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
