He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
