Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
