So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize
