You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
