I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
