Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
