hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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