remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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