He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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