I hate your face
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
