Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
