Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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