I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
