Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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