He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
