Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
