At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
we should paint friendship bongs
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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