I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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