Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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