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• (425): View more from Washington

  Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water

  (425): View more from Washington

  Legs for days

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  Harpoon that

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight

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• (239): View more from Florida

  Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom

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• (845): View more from New York

  Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.

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• (551): View more from New Jersey

  Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  whats our policy on dating high schoolers?

  (1-231): View more from Michigan

  we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does

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• (408): View more from California

  Your text makes more sense read in reverse.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride

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