I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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