Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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