My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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