If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize