it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
