she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
