im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My vagina is officially offended.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
