Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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