We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
