There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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