My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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