He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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