This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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