So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
