Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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