I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize