A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
