me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
