8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I haven't been this sober since birth.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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