i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize