Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
