Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
