I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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