College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
