i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
