it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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