I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
