ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
there is another microwave in the elevator.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
