Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
NoShamevember. You game?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
