Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
