That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
